My spouse and one of her coworkers were trying to decide exactly what type of cold, hard material their employer's heart might be made of, since they are required to work on the day after Christmas.
The conversation went something like this:
Coworker: It's got to be something sort of hard, but needs to be... I don't know...
Spouse: Haughty?
Coworker: Yeah. Like a diamond.
Spouse: An ice diamond.
Coworker: Yeah!
Me: Really?
Coworker & Spouse: ???
Me: Hard and cold, but beautiful and precious... I'm thinking it needs to be something more... kind of... callous...
Coworker: Oh, yeah! Our boss's heart is made of calluses!
Spouse: ... thousands of dried up calluses, from the hands little children...
Me ...
Coworker: ...little children working in sweatshops -- and then someone sweeps all the dried up calluses into a big pile, and glues them all together with... with... blister juice! Blister juice, and...
Spouse: ...tiny, frozen tears. Tears from their exhausted little bloodshot eyes...
Me: Wow!
Spouse & Coworker: Shut up, we're not done!
Me: Yes. Yes you are.
Spouse & Coworker: ...
Me: Y'all should save some. For the day after New Year's.
Spouse & Coworker: Oh. Oh, yeah.
~FIN~
Scrooge's Ventricles
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